It's my 21st birthday and I'm forcing myself to write a blog post in one day and publish it. On top of whatever other work I have to do. I never liked my birthday, but I have learned to tolerate it more by knowing when I control the day and do what I choose it usually goes a lot better. I feel like a lot of birthday hatred comes from unmet expectations, it's your day it's supposed to be perfect but rarely is. I think the best birthday I have had was my 20th last year when I spent the whole day to myself avoiding everyone and barely checking my phone. It was the best because the expectations were so low I could not be disappointed by the very lax day I planned for myself. It was one of the only birthdays I remember not crying. The 21st will be added to the list too, maybe I am just growing up. On my 20th though I went shopping, I got my free Starbucks drink, I got my eyelashes done, and then I went home and ate my favorite meal and my mom baked me a cake. There was little that could have gone wrong so it was easy to have a good day. I had also had a prior celebration with my friends where I saw Beyonce and got to attend a party. I actually kind of hate attending parties on my birthday that aren't for me but I've never really had a party thrown in my honor either. My 19th birthday wasn't awful but it wasn't great, the only person who could make time for me on my actual day was Jumana. She got me a cake and we hung out for a little but other than that it was a little disappointing. On my 18th birthday, Jumana and her friends came up to Asu, and they took me to a party. It wasn't a birthday party but rather just a party that was just happening on campus. I got too drunk and cried on the floor not exactly how I wanted to celebrate becoming a legal adult. I also felt like they came up there to go to that party rather than for my birthday. A lot of other birthdays are muddy but I don't remember enjoying them. Except my 15th? all I wanted to do was go to the movies with my mom and that's what I did and then ate cake. It was not all great though my friends tried to throw me a surprise party which ended in me crying alone ( not in a good way) maybe I was a little bit of a diva but come on it was my birthday.
To recall this day to celebrate my 21st year of life I will start from the beginning. I woke up early to be able to make it on time to my yoga class. My mom order me a cake and flowers, both were delivered smushed. I thought what a great start to my day but I did not let this get me down. I am just recovering from covid so this was my first day of classes even though school started last week. I found out I hated my commute to tempe but I got out of class early and was able to head home between my classes. On the light rail ride home I was serenaded with happy birthday by an middle aged man who thought I was younger than I appeared. When I got home I walked in on my roommate who was planning to surprise me by decorating the apartment for my birthday, oops! (sorry kiara). Very nice gesture I interrupted by coming home to eat something. Then off to my second class contemporary fashion, I was not enthused by this class but I pulled through and decided not to drop it because my friend was in the class. Next I ventured home with my roommate and my other friend and they sang happy birthday to me, I made a wish, and we ate squashed birthday cake. They both had places to be so I decided to do some grocery shopping (the ultimate birthday activity). I went to trader joes and got all I needed, and bought alcohol legally for the first time, it's my 21st, I had to do it. Upon looking at my still vertical ID the cashier wasn't sure if it was real asking if it was in fact me. Upon realizing the date he wished me happy birthday and darted off to bring me a complimentary bouquet of flowers. This made my day, something small. It was shortly ruined though when leaving the parking lot I was honked at for taking too long to make my unprotected left turn. How would you know from behind me if it was safe to go??? I kept thinking to myself, it's my birthday everyone should be nice to me, no one should honk at me, getting on the shuttle for tempe its my birthday they should let me go first. No one gaf that it was my birthday. This is why I think in order to have a good birthday it is important to remember it's your day, yours, no one else's. Anyway after trader joes I got home and order myself take out, thai food, my favorite food. I was in control, it was my day, and I was gonna make this great I kept reminding myself. I ate alone in my room, received phone calls, and watched my favorite tv show. This may sound sad or boring but to me it was perfect. I could not be disappointed by my birthday when this is exactly what I wanted. A day to myself with my favorite things. I did not cry this birthday and I think that is progress. I had my own expectations and I met them so in turn my day was good. A lot of people kept asking why I didn't go out, why I didn't get wasted, or throw a huge party. Those weren't expectations I had for myself, nor things I was particularly interested in doing. I had to be real I had a day full of class and don't like the way I feel after drinking, so I did the best with what was given to me and enjoyed my 21st birthday thoroughly.
Smushed birthday cake.
